“The Yankees reducing payroll?  That’s kind of like putting a pig on a diet.”

“How will they survive on only 185 MILLION DOLLARS ???”

“Every year the Yankees say they will cut payroll, and then they realize that Matt Holliday is on the market and only wants 20 mil a year from them, and then “HEY! welcome to the Yankees!” and then they think, “what the heck… why not get John Lackey while we’re at it?”

“Anyone who believes this, please contact me; I have some swampland in Florida you’ll be interested in. I’ll even throw in a bridge or two.”

“The Yankees have a budget? When did this start?”

“Just add a zero to last years “budget” – should work.”