Sometimes things aren’t always as they seem. For example, it turns out that Tiger Woods isn’t quite the moral superhero many thought he was. Neither was Martha Stewart the homemaker’s innocent angel many believed her to be. Often, a little bit of scrutiny goes a long way in determining if something is in fact the real McCoy. In the fantasy hockey world, penalty minutes can be one of those misleading smokescreen stats that can deceive us into believing that a certain player is a bonafide PIMP (PIM Producer), when in fact, a little scrutiny proves that things aren’t quite what they seem. Here are a few examples:

Of Eric Staal’s 40 PIM, 26 of them came in a single game. If you take those out of the equation, he’s totalled a much more modest 14 PIM over his first 20 games, which puts him on pace for 57 penalty minutes in a full 82 game schedule. That is perfectly in line with his PIM totals over the past few years of 50, 50 and 68. So if you’re considering a trade for Staal (or perhaps even picking him up in 8 team leagues), don’t be fooled by his PIM numbers – it’s unlikely that he’ll be a significant contributor in that category. On the flip side, you can perhaps play that number up in trade offers and hope for a bite from an ignorant owner.

Sticking with the Carolina theme, Tim Gleason is another mirage that many have fallen for, in the search for that perfect PIMP. Ideally, in that elusive hunt for the ideal PIMP, you are looking for a 4th defenseman (a position which traditionally has very little offensive upside) who will rack up the penalty minutes without harming your plus/minus rating. At first glance, Gleason might seem to fit that mold with 51 PIM in 25 games. Prorated over an entire season, that amounts to 160+ PIM, hardly a number to sneeze at. However looking at his game log, once again, 57% of his sin-bin minutes came from just TWO games. That doesn’t bode well for those looking to pick up Gleason as a bonafide PIMP – in fact, his career PIM average rated for a 82-game schedule is somewhere around 80, attesting to his bloated 2009-2010 stats.

So who are some bonafide PIMPs? In years past, Daniel Carcillo had single-handedly given fantasy owners a huge edge in the PIM department, amassing 324 and 254 PIM in 2007 and 2008, respectively. Although he was occupying a traditional scoring position on fantasy rosters (right wing), his super production in that one category made him worth the gamble. This year, that title belongs to the Senators’ Matt Carkner, who has amassed 83 penalty minutes in 30 games thus far, but more importantly, has received 11 fighting majors, good for second in the league. That implies a level of consistency and predictability, which is critical for winning your penalty minutes category in H2H leagues. As an added bonus, Carkner has dual-eligibility at both D and RW, making him a useful flex option for your roster. Indeed, owing to his success in the PIM category, Carkner is the 26th ranked defenseman according to Yahoo!, ahead of names such as Jovanovski, Suter, Lidstrom and Rafalski.

As fearsome as Matt Carkner is however, he is not the league leader in either fighting majors or PIM. That distinction belongs to Tampa Bay’s Zenon Konopka, who has been involved in 13 scraps in 30 games, for a total of 125 PIM. At that pace, he’ll have registered a ridiculous 342 PIM by year’s end. However, Konopka’s eligibility is limited to the center position, which is traditionally reserved as a scorer’s position. If you’re in a moderate to deep league in which you’re holding on to below-average centers (that’s you Jason Spezza), you’ll be much better off with Konopka’s contributions in your lineup. On his own, Konopka’s PIM are worth three 40-PIM players, and would complement beautifully a Patrick Marleau, a Joe Thornton, or even a Brad Richards who, despite their offensive prowess, give you next to nothing in terms of PIM (12 combined PIM).

I for one, believe that the game would be much better served if we got rid of these goons altogether. Until then however, you can take advantage of them to advance your team in the standings the ol’ fashioned way.